I'm seeing an alarming amount of 'taches among the Sydney youth. There is a 'tache epidemic. A 'tachedemic. The first rule of facial hair is 'Don't' - unless your name is Tom Selleck (your name isn't Tom Selleck). The hipster revolution started on the streets of Shoreditch in London and SoHo in New York; unfortunately by the time it reached Sydney it consisted only of a first-hand, overpriced Barbour wax jacket, a perfectly manicured 'tache and a serious lack of wit (self-depricating or otherwise). Here the movement skipped straight over irony and irreverence and fast-forwarded straight to douchebag. All this facial hair and not one raised eyebrow, not one person suggesting they know they look douchey but they're doing it anyway. Not even one goddamn fingertache. Shit. I hope this trend dies quickly. I don't wish to see one more lip-rug, nose carpet or upper-mandible mutant weasel attachment. Shave it off, dickhead. Let the world concentrate on more pressing issues. Like how excruciatingly tight your skinny fucking jeans are.