“They used to tank cod from Alaska all the way to China. They’d keep them in vats in the ship. By the time the codfish reached China, the flesh was mush and tasteless. So this guy came up with the idea that if you put these cods in these big vats, put some catfish in with them and the catfish will keep the cod agile. And there are those people who are catfish in life. And they keep you on your toes. They keep you guessing, they keep you thinking, they keep you fresh. And I thank god for the catfish because we would be droll, boring and dull if we didn’t have somebody nipping at our fin.”—
'Ludicrously overpriced, with carpet stained like an infant's undies and a truly appealing paint job…. no, I meant a peeling paint job…… this 2 bedroom top floor North Bondi flat is perfect for the blind and/or less discriminating flatmate.
Your potential bedroom is unfurnished although it does have the requisite four walls and ceiling so that’s a plus. The bathroom has a bath which manages to retain water so it’s fulfilled its destiny. The kitchen has all the essentials but not a bit more and the place is furnished and decorated in a style best described as “junkie minimalism.”
So why move in? I’m glad you asked. The view and location is about as good as you’ll get as you’ll see from the photos. That is the view from the room. Impressive huh? And there’s a small balcony too.
Plus, the hovel is within easy walking distance to shops and right at the start of the 333 bus route so getting in to the city is a piece of p1ss! You get a seat every time and you can laugh at the losers having to stand (it’s the small, petty things that keep me happy). And it’s got internet, washing machine and all the essential stuff.
If you have a designer’s eye and wish to play down the trailer trash aesthetic, please feel free to make the changes. I have absolutely zero attachment to the current furnishings and would welcome someone with the ability and desire to polish this turd.
As for me, I work (as little as humanly possible) in media/marketing ergo, I’m a complete tosser. On a positive note, I am house broken and have no criminal record.
The rest – 33 years old, male (as if you couldn’t tell), likes boy stuff such as televised sport, the consumption of take away food and I’ve recently discovered the joys of adding fabric softener to my washing. What a day that was!
I don’t mind who I live with but I would prefer not to live with a couple. Nothing personal against the loved up but you people make me sick. To live with that is.
If you happen to be a girl, believe it or not, my past two flatmates were girls and I dare say that we got along quite well. Hell, I’ll even put you in touch with them if ya wanna check my bonafides.